The Three Most Powerful Words a Leader Can Say
What happened when a brilliant executive finally said 'I don't know'
"I don't know."
Three simple words. Eleven letters total. Yet for most executives, saying them feels like professional suicide.
I learned this lesson the hard way while coaching an executive at a rapidly scaling company that had just secured a massive cash infusion. This leader was brilliant—genuinely one of the smartest people I'd worked with. They had answers for everything. Technical architecture? Solved. Market strategy? Handled. Team dynamics? They had it figured out.
There was just one problem: their management team wasn't stepping up to own the empowerment the executive team was demanding.
After six months of watching this dynamic play out, the executive pulled me aside during an offsite. "Josh, I need your help. How can I get my team to take more ownership? How do I become a better leader?"
My answer caught them completely off guard: "Say 'I don't know.' Just once."
You should have seen their face. Here was someone accustomed to having THE answer, being told their superpower was actually their kryptonite.
The Curiosity Bottleneck
What this executive didn't realize was that their expertise had created an invisible bottleneck. Every time they had the perfect answer, they were:
Cutting off their team's thinking process
Preventing genuine exploration of alternatives
Signaling that their opinion was the only one that mattered
Training their people to wait for direction instead of innovating
Think about it: When's the last time someone on your team genuinely changed your mind about something important? Not through a crowbar-to-the-head argument, but through genuine discovery together?
If you're scratching your head trying to remember, you might have a curiosity problem.
The Mining Metaphor
Real leadership curiosity isn't about having all the answers—it's about mining for the best answer alongside your team. Picture this: You and your team are standing around a problem with pickaxes, all working together to find that vein of gold. You're not the foreman shouting directions from above; you're right there swinging your pickaxe, saying things like:
"I'm not finding anything over here—what are you seeing?"
"Maybe we need to try a different approach?"
"What do you think we should do next?"
Someone's going to hit gold eventually. And when they do, the whole team celebrates—regardless of who made the discovery.
The Executive's Transformation
Back to my coaching story: It took several more "prodding" sessions to get this executive to actually say "I don't know" in front of their team. When they finally did, the change was immediate and dramatic.
Suddenly, their managers started:
Bringing solutions instead of problems
Debating ideas openly in meetings
Taking ownership of decisions
Coming up with innovations that the executive never would have considered
The bottleneck was broken. Not because the executive became less smart, but because they created space for their team's intelligence to emerge.
Your Curiosity Audit
Want to know if you're truly curious or just performing curiosity theater? Ask yourself these questions:
1. When's the last time you changed your mind? Not after being beaten down with data, but because someone presented an idea that genuinely surprised you.
2. Do you ask questions you don't already know the answers to? Or are you asking leading questions to guide people toward your predetermined solution?
3. What's your team's curiosity level? Here's a radical idea: Ask them. Describe genuine curiosity, give them a scale, and get their honest feedback about where you stand.
The Ripple Effect
Here's what most leaders miss: Your curiosity (or lack thereof) is contagious. When you model genuine not-knowing, it permeates your entire organization. People start asking better questions. Teams begin exploring alternatives. Innovation increases.
And it works upward too. Try being genuinely curious with your boss or board. Ask "why" when something feels off. You'll be amazed how often they appreciate your desire to understand the bigger picture.
The Bottom Line
Saying "I don't know" isn't an admission of weakness—it's an activation of your team's collective intelligence. It's the difference between being the smartest person in the room and building the smartest team in the building.
Your team doesn't need you to have all the answers. They need you to create space for them to discover the best answers together.
So here's your challenge: In your next team meeting, when someone brings you a problem, resist the urge to provide the solution immediately. Instead, say those three powerful words: "I don't know."
Then ask: "What do you think we should do?"
Watch what happens. I guarantee it will be better than whatever you were going to suggest.
Josh Anderson
Editor-In-Chief
The Leadership Lighthouse
From The Studio
This week's insights came from a deep dive conversation with Bob Galen on curiosity as a leadership superpower. We explored everything from the difference between superficial and genuine curiosity to practical techniques for asking powerful questions that activate your team's intelligence.
If you want to hear the full discussion—including Bob's thoughts on why most leaders operate at only 10-20% curiosity and specific coaching techniques you can implement immediately—check out the complete episode.
The conversation will challenge how you think about your role as a leader and give you concrete tools to become the kind of leader who mines for gold alongside their team rather than just dispensing answers from above.