Yes, it is true that being a great leader means that sometimes you have to make someone unhappy.
I don't think that qualifies as being a "jerk", but I get the point
However, there's a deeper topic you raise that does not get addressed here, which is "what kind of a leader do I want to be?"
This may seem high-level, but let me make this more clear:
- Do I want to be a tech-focused leader, at the expense of career progression elsewhere?
- Do I want to be a more product-focused, at the expense of losing credibility with the engineers in my team (but gaining it elsewhere)?
- Do I want to be sales-positive, or do I want to push back when sales people come to me with impossible requests? This, of course, has career implications as well.
- Do I want to be CTO, CPO, or CEO in the future? This - even if not possible - defines a lot of our stances when dealing with day-to-day topics in our Engineering organizations.
All in all, I get the "be a jerk - sometimes" point you make, but I don't think it goes deep enough. Maybe it gets clicks, but it does not really help develop our careers as leaders forward.
Being a "jerk" as you describe it, my be an entry point, but the real questions are: what kind of leader do I want to be, and do I keep myself accountable for that?
My advice to ANYONE, struggling with this question: get a coach! You will get better, your team will get better, and in the end your career will benefit from it! That advice was the single best advice I got for my career!
The point I was hoping to land is that you are going to have to "get uncomfortable" with how your actions may be perceived by others. I spent a fair amount of my career trying to not ruffle feathers, because I thought that was the "right" thing to do.
Often times, ruffling those feathers is the absolute right thing to do, but so many folks avoid it. I hope this post gives one person the courage to step into the perceived "jerk" role and do the right thing.
Yes, it is true that being a great leader means that sometimes you have to make someone unhappy.
I don't think that qualifies as being a "jerk", but I get the point
However, there's a deeper topic you raise that does not get addressed here, which is "what kind of a leader do I want to be?"
This may seem high-level, but let me make this more clear:
- Do I want to be a tech-focused leader, at the expense of career progression elsewhere?
- Do I want to be a more product-focused, at the expense of losing credibility with the engineers in my team (but gaining it elsewhere)?
- Do I want to be sales-positive, or do I want to push back when sales people come to me with impossible requests? This, of course, has career implications as well.
- Do I want to be CTO, CPO, or CEO in the future? This - even if not possible - defines a lot of our stances when dealing with day-to-day topics in our Engineering organizations.
All in all, I get the "be a jerk - sometimes" point you make, but I don't think it goes deep enough. Maybe it gets clicks, but it does not really help develop our careers as leaders forward.
Being a "jerk" as you describe it, my be an entry point, but the real questions are: what kind of leader do I want to be, and do I keep myself accountable for that?
My advice to ANYONE, struggling with this question: get a coach! You will get better, your team will get better, and in the end your career will benefit from it! That advice was the single best advice I got for my career!
The point I was hoping to land is that you are going to have to "get uncomfortable" with how your actions may be perceived by others. I spent a fair amount of my career trying to not ruffle feathers, because I thought that was the "right" thing to do.
Often times, ruffling those feathers is the absolute right thing to do, but so many folks avoid it. I hope this post gives one person the courage to step into the perceived "jerk" role and do the right thing.